The Polar Vortex, Cleansing, and Patience
I won’t lie, it’s been a rough week. There was the polar vortex, my cleanse, and my overall sense that the magnificant cleansing plans for this month are turning into miserable plans. Of course, this is all self imposed and small stuff. But a struggle all the same.
I missed caffeine in the morning more than expected. That extra jolt, as it turns out, really does help me get my day on. The dull, lightheaded feeling of cleansing lasted all week with intermittant headaches. As items started dropping off of my “can eat” list, I found myself annoyed and a bit panicky having run out of choices and forced to come up with something healthy to make. Also, I did not experience any feelings of lightness or well-being. I felt, in a word: bitchy.
Why am I doing this when it makes me feel like crap?
I still don’t feel like doing anything, nothing’s changed except that I’m less happy.
It’s hard when you feel like you are sacrificing present-self for future-self. It’s also hard to keep perspective in something you have forced yourself to do and can quit at any time. One week is not long. Yet it’s felt like the whole winter. As if time had frozen in the polar vortex. Why am I not losing any weight? Why am I still so tired even though I’m getting more sleep? It’s so lonely to be on a cleanse!
But today, a melt. It has been raining all day. The temperature is above zero. I got to sleep in late. I managed to accomplish..very little. Yet looking back on my week, I feel a tinge of pride. I followed through with my goal. I finally did something good for my body despite how adamantly my mind tried to negotiate quitting (at least 30 or 40 times). Might I mention, my roommate has already fallen off the wagon.
I listened to a few inspiring talks on the Hay House Start the New You Webinars. In one of them, Christine Northrup talks about clearing out clutter- something that was on my to do list but that I had not gotten to yet. I’m moving in 5 months and it’s hard to face the task of choosing what will be coming with me (most of it will not.) But she offered up something helpful. She said that clearing even one small, empty, space will provide inspiration to extend to other spaces. And that clearing out old energy (clearing cobwebs) will make transformation in all aspects of life, because all my stuff is carrying a vibration.
Worth trying? I think so. I never saw clearing out the old as an aspect of doing something new. But NEW is what we are going for. On this blog and beyond. 🙂